Some say six to one, Montgomery insisted on fifteen to one. For Winston, it was enough to simply call a friend who just opened a bottle of vermouth, or to stir the gin over ice and while glancing over on the vermouth bottle. It can be a pickled onion, an olive or with a twist. Or an Oliver Twist. It can be shaken or stirred. It can be dirty. It can be ugly, elegant, or flirty. But it's never anything but immensely cold*, with dryness as its north star. Simple yet disputed.

Note: The easiest way to spot a psycho is to dip your pinky in their dry martini - If it's lukewarm, do best by staying away.